My Child Has a Mental Health Diagnosis, Now What?
Maya (Mostaghim-Vaezi) Dousti • February 29, 2020
Parenting is often regarded as one of life’s greatest challenges. At times, it may be difficult to provide support to your child, to understand what being a “good parent” means to you, and to face the many challenges inherent in parenting. Some parents may even seek advice from a healthcare professional and find that their child meets the criteria for a mental health diagnosis. This news is often unexpected, overwhelming, and difficult to accept. Acceptance of a child’s diagnosis though can be one of the best things a parent can do for themselves and their child.
Here are some evidence-based suggestions to help you accept and cope with your child’s diagnosis:
- Acknowledge the difficulties of receiving the diagnosis (Kearney et al., 2011). What has this experience been like for you? What are you feeling?
- Acknowledge the differences in you and your child before and after receiving the diagnosis (Kearney et al., 2011). Are you seeing your child differently? Are you seeing yourself differently? Does this label help you to understand your child’s needs?
- Work to integrate your pre- and post-diagnosis understandings of both yourself and your child (Kearney et al., 2011). Remember, this is still the child you know and love. What things are still the same? How do you enjoy spending time together? How do you connect?
- Recognize any growing acceptance you may feel regarding the diagnosis over time, no matter how small (Kearney et al., 2011). Remember that all new things take some time to get used to. Also, recognize that even making small steps toward acceptance is still progress.
- Focus on setting realistic expectations of your child’s abilities (Milshtein et al., 2009). What extra support do they require in order to thrive in their settings (e.g. home, school, other activities)?
- Be oriented to your child’s present and future (Milshtein et al., 2009). For example, what does my child need from me now and what changes do I envision for their future?
- Research the diagnosis in order to gain a better understanding and seek support from parents raising children with similar diagnoses. Being informed and supported helps you to better understand your child’s experience. You and your child will also feel better and less isolated/alone when you have a support network.
- Be present with your child. Remember to take time to connect. Spend quality time together doing things you know your child enjoys. Prioritize and focus on your child, without other distractions.
- Make sure you are taking care of yourself so you can be the parent your child needs. Seek support from friends, family, and/or a mental health professional.
It is important to remember that the process of acceptance takes active effort. Studies have shown that an integrated acceptance of a new reality is not related to the amount of time that has passed since the diagnosis was received. Moving toward acceptance is possible and results in better health for everyone involved. Accepting your child’s diagnosis fosters more sensitive caregiving and healthy attachment. Specifically, this is linked to lower levels of parenting stress, stronger attachment bonds, higher mental ability scores, and even better expressive language skills for your child (Kearney et al., 2011). This article is just the first step; if you need more support, we can help! Contact us and book an appointment.
Written by Maya (Mostaghim-Vaezi) Dousti
Reviewed/Edited by Dr. Stacy Lekkos, C. Psych
References
Kearney, J. A., Britner, P. A., Farrell, A. F., & Robinson, J. L. (2011). Mothers’
Resolution of Their Young Children’s Psychiatric Diagnoses: Associations with Child, Parent, and Relationship Characteristics. Child Psychiatry & Human Development, 42(3), 334–348. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10578-011-0217-6
Milshtein, S., Yirmiya, N., Oppenheim, D., Koren-Karie, N., & Levi, S. (2009). Resolution of the Diagnosis Among Parents of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Associations with Child and Parent Characteristics. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 40(1), 89–99. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-009-0837-x
Photo by VisionPic .net from Pexels
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a widely used approach in mental health care that focuses on the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It may offer individuals valuable tools for managing stress and anxiety. By exploring how these elements interact, CBT aims to help people understand and modify patterns that contribute to their distress. The importance of managing stress and anxiety cannot be overstated, as these conditions can significantly impact overall well-being and quality of life. CBT addresses these issues by helping individuals recognize and change negative thought patterns and behaviours. Through cognitive restructuring and behavioural activation, patients can work on altering unhelpful thinking and engaging in positive behaviours. Cognitive restructuring involves identifying and challenging distorted thoughts, while behavioural activation encourages participation in rewarding activities to counteract depression and anxiety. These methods may empower individuals to handle challenges better and improve their mental health. Understanding how CBT can be integrated into personal care routines may benefit those seeking to enhance their psychological well-being. How CBT Addresses Stress and Anxiety Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) offers valuable strategies for addressing stress and anxiety. By identifying and challenging negative thought patterns related to stress, CBT helps individuals recognize how these thoughts can contribute to their stress levels. Techniques such as cognitive restructuring aim to change these stress-inducing thoughts, while behavioural interventions work to modify the behaviors that often accompany stress. For instance, someone overwhelmed at work might learn to break tasks into manageable steps and develop healthier work habits through CBT. When managing anxiety, CBT can be particularly effective in reframing anxious thoughts. Through techniques like exposure therapy, individuals gradually face their fears in a controlled manner, which can reduce anxiety over time. CBT sessions often teach coping strategies and skills that help individuals manage their stress in various situations, such as deep breathing exercises or structured problem-solving. The benefits of CBT for stress and anxiety include a better understanding of personal thought patterns and the development of effective coping strategies. This approach may offer long-term relief from stress and anxiety by equipping individuals with the tools to handle their challenges more effectively. Consulting with psychologists in Toronto can provide further insights into how CBT may support personal mental health goals. Consulting with a Psychologist Consulting with a psychologist for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can provide valuable support in managing stress and anxiety. During your first CBT session, you may discuss your concerns and goals with the psychologist, who will work with you to develop a treatment plan. This plan may include strategies to address negative thought patterns and behaviours contributing to your stress and anxiety. Finding a qualified psychologist in Toronto, such as those at Toronto Psychologists, can be a crucial step in accessing effective CBT. In summary, CBT may offer significant benefits for managing stress and anxiety by providing a structured approach to understanding and changing unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours. If you are considering CBT, consulting with a psychologist may be a helpful next step in finding personalized support and exploring how this therapy can work for you.
When an individual expects something to happen, many processes go on in our brains and bodies to meet these expectations.
Let’s put something into perspective here: each day consists of 24 hours. Of those, it is recommended that each person sleep approximately eight hours per night. According to these numbers, we spend one third of our entire lives asleep, yet for some reason the majority of us are choosing to ignore the importance of this inevitability. Sleep alone can improve our stress , memory functioning, alertness, mood, immune system, hormone functioning, and weight, to name a few. There are no quick fixes or super pills anyone can take for instant success but sleep is truly one of the closest natural aspects we can improve on in order to benefit almost EVERY aspect of our lives. So what can we do to improve our sleep? Define Your Why A recurring theme when deciding to make changes in our lives is defining our ‘why’. Any meaningful action requires meaning or purpose for it to be achieved. No matter how complex or simple it is, when you have a reason to do something, you are more likely to actually follow through with it. Remember to remind yourself why you want to focus on this area of your life. This will be particularly important when the going gets tough or if you fall victim of your previous routine way of functioning. Remember, meaningful change (in this case, sleep) does not happen overnight. Limit Blue Light Exposure Cutting out screen time before bed is one of the most effective ways to improve sleep quality. However, I’m fairly confident that most of you reading this will end the last moments of your night on a screen, whether it's a phone, computer, iPad, or the television. Throughout human evolution, humans evolved to be awake when the sun was up and to fall asleep when the sun went down. The problem with blue light specifically is that it has shown to stimulate the brain in areas that are active during alert day hours, disorienting the body’s natural preparation for sleep. Furthermore, blue light suppresses melatonin production (the hormone that makes you sleepy) and elevates cortisol (the hormone associated with stress ). Mariana Figueiro, PhD., found that two hours of screen time before bed displayed a suppression in melatonin levels in the brain (Figeuiro et. al., 2011). In fact, even when our eyes are closed, we have photo-receptors all over our skin that absorb light just as our retinas in our eyes would. Thus, having screens on anywhere around our sleeping areas is problematic. Tips to manage blue light exposure: Setting a screen time curfew Wearing blue light protective glasses Turn on blue light blockers on devices, i.e. phones and computers (f.lux and Nightshift are recommended for iOS users and Twilight for android users) Instead of watching TV, movies, or YouTube before bed, listen to a podcast or audiobook with the screen off or on sleep mode. Ensure your room is completely pitch black at night, with no lights on, curtains closed, and any technology still on should be covered. For those of you who sleep with a light on, it’s recommended to buy a red light for your bedroom. Not only do these look cool but red light on the visible light spectrum has been shown to have little to no effect on both melatonin and cortisol levels. This is hypothesized to be due to the fact that humans have evolved sleeping by fire throughout human history (Stevenson, 2016). Caffeine Consumption Before getting into what you can do to manage your caffeine consumption, let’s take a simplistic look at what caffeine actually does to the brain that impacts our sleep. During normal functioning hours, the brain slowly accumulates a chemical called adenosine that binds to receptors to slow down brain activity and make you feel tired. The longer you are awake, the more tired you feel. Where caffeine comes into play is that it is shaped very similarly to adenosine and it binds to brain receptors. When these receptors are blocked by caffeine instead of adenosine, this tricks the brain into thinking it's not tired. Caffeine has a half-life of about 6-8 hours. A standard cup of coffee has roughly 150g of caffeine in it. What this means is that after about 6-8 hours there is still about 75g of caffeine in your system. Therefore, the timing of your caffeine consumption is just as important as the quantity. With this being said, the best strategy involves setting a caffeine curfew in order to reduce the amount of caffeine in your system by bedtime. It is recommended to cut out all sources of caffeine approximately 8 hours before bed. This includes coffee, caffeinated teas, espresso, or any other source of caffeine. Change Your Mindset in Regards to Sleep Although the other two points mentioned will probably apply to most readers, this one was the most influential point towards improving my sleep. I associated sleep with a negative outlook, specifically with loss of time. I knew through research and extensive thought that if I was going to improve my quality of sleep I was going to have to change my mindset. That isn’t the easiest task, especially when you spend years of your life thinking you dislike something. Some things that I did that helped me with this was reinforcing my why . The more I thought about why I was addressing my sleep, the easier it became to desire wanting sleep. Once I slowly worked towards this, I found that my anxiety associated with loss of time began to reduce and I was able to associate sleep with a positive mindset. Meditate Mindfulness is the act of becoming aware in the present moment, without judgement. The practice of mindfulness through mindful meditation can provide an opportunity to create mental space at bedtime and to help you feel more relaxed. Mindfulness can also help you to cope with negative thoughts surrounding sleep and to help you shift your focus to your body and to be present. This technique is easily accessible by downloading free apps or using beginner guided sleep meditation videos on YouTube. Other Minor Tips to Improve Your Sleep Journaling is an excellent release before bedtime, especially if you are an over thinker. Letting out the thoughts on paper and getting them out of your head will allow you to focus more on sleep and less on what’s on your mind. Invest in a good mattress. As mentioned earlier, we are going to spend about one third of our lives sleeping so why not ensure that we get the best sleep possible? If you are not in an ideal financial situation at the moment, perhaps investing in a proper mattress isn’t realistic. For you, I suggest buying a memory foam topper or just a mattress topper. This is an inexpensive way to improve sleep quality. Sleep and wake at consistent hours. Our super complex yet lazy brain loves to work off of routines so do your brain a favour and go to bed and wake up around the same time. This will make the process easier on yourself and will make you less likely to give up from frustrations of not being able to accomplish what you set out to. Do not, and I repeat do not, do any work or eating or anything in your bed besides sleep. The brain works off of associations so don’t confuse your brain into thinking your mattress is an office, movie theater, or a kitchen table. This is just the beginning when it comes to ways to improve your sleep, as solutions often depend on one’s specific sleep challenges. However, trying any of these tips can be beneficial as improving our sleep is crucial to improving our physical and psychological well-being. Best of luck on your sleep journey and sweet dreams. Written By: Erik Michalik, M. Psy Candidate, BASc, Edited/Reviewed by : Chantal Legere, M. Psy References Figueiro MG, Wood B, Plitnick B, Rea MS. (2011) The impact of light from computer monitors on melatonin levels in college students. Neuro Endocrinol Lett .; 32(2):158-63. PMID: 21552190. Stevenson, S. (2016). Sleep smarter: 21 essential strategies to sleep your way to a better body, better health, and bigger success . New York, NY: Rodale Books. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
Procrastination can be hard to fight against, as there are several causes or triggers for this behaviour. Here are ways to fight it!
What's the last thing you see before sleeping at night and the first thing you look for in the morning? If you answer "phone" this article is for you
By examining the cycle of procrastination, we can identify our own mechanisms that may be contributing to this behaviour. Learn more.
Ever get the feeling that you're not good enough at what you are doing? Or that other people are going to think that you're a phoney?
Individuals who struggle with perfectionism are more likely to perceive their self-worth based on how much they are achieving in life.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a widely used approach in mental health care that focuses on the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. It may offer individuals valuable tools for managing stress and anxiety. By exploring how these elements interact, CBT aims to help people understand and modify patterns that contribute to their distress. The importance of managing stress and anxiety cannot be overstated, as these conditions can significantly impact overall well-being and quality of life. CBT addresses these issues by helping individuals recognize and change negative thought patterns and behaviours. Through cognitive restructuring and behavioural activation, patients can work on altering unhelpful thinking and engaging in positive behaviours. Cognitive restructuring involves identifying and challenging distorted thoughts, while behavioural activation encourages participation in rewarding activities to counteract depression and anxiety. These methods may empower individuals to handle challenges better and improve their mental health. Understanding how CBT can be integrated into personal care routines may benefit those seeking to enhance their psychological well-being. How CBT Addresses Stress and Anxiety Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) offers valuable strategies for addressing stress and anxiety. By identifying and challenging negative thought patterns related to stress, CBT helps individuals recognize how these thoughts can contribute to their stress levels. Techniques such as cognitive restructuring aim to change these stress-inducing thoughts, while behavioural interventions work to modify the behaviors that often accompany stress. For instance, someone overwhelmed at work might learn to break tasks into manageable steps and develop healthier work habits through CBT. When managing anxiety, CBT can be particularly effective in reframing anxious thoughts. Through techniques like exposure therapy, individuals gradually face their fears in a controlled manner, which can reduce anxiety over time. CBT sessions often teach coping strategies and skills that help individuals manage their stress in various situations, such as deep breathing exercises or structured problem-solving. The benefits of CBT for stress and anxiety include a better understanding of personal thought patterns and the development of effective coping strategies. This approach may offer long-term relief from stress and anxiety by equipping individuals with the tools to handle their challenges more effectively. Consulting with psychologists in Toronto can provide further insights into how CBT may support personal mental health goals. Consulting with a Psychologist Consulting with a psychologist for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can provide valuable support in managing stress and anxiety. During your first CBT session, you may discuss your concerns and goals with the psychologist, who will work with you to develop a treatment plan. This plan may include strategies to address negative thought patterns and behaviours contributing to your stress and anxiety. Finding a qualified psychologist in Toronto, such as those at Toronto Psychologists, can be a crucial step in accessing effective CBT. In summary, CBT may offer significant benefits for managing stress and anxiety by providing a structured approach to understanding and changing unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours. If you are considering CBT, consulting with a psychologist may be a helpful next step in finding personalized support and exploring how this therapy can work for you.
When an individual expects something to happen, many processes go on in our brains and bodies to meet these expectations.
Let’s put something into perspective here: each day consists of 24 hours. Of those, it is recommended that each person sleep approximately eight hours per night. According to these numbers, we spend one third of our entire lives asleep, yet for some reason the majority of us are choosing to ignore the importance of this inevitability. Sleep alone can improve our stress , memory functioning, alertness, mood, immune system, hormone functioning, and weight, to name a few. There are no quick fixes or super pills anyone can take for instant success but sleep is truly one of the closest natural aspects we can improve on in order to benefit almost EVERY aspect of our lives. So what can we do to improve our sleep? Define Your Why A recurring theme when deciding to make changes in our lives is defining our ‘why’. Any meaningful action requires meaning or purpose for it to be achieved. No matter how complex or simple it is, when you have a reason to do something, you are more likely to actually follow through with it. Remember to remind yourself why you want to focus on this area of your life. This will be particularly important when the going gets tough or if you fall victim of your previous routine way of functioning. Remember, meaningful change (in this case, sleep) does not happen overnight. Limit Blue Light Exposure Cutting out screen time before bed is one of the most effective ways to improve sleep quality. However, I’m fairly confident that most of you reading this will end the last moments of your night on a screen, whether it's a phone, computer, iPad, or the television. Throughout human evolution, humans evolved to be awake when the sun was up and to fall asleep when the sun went down. The problem with blue light specifically is that it has shown to stimulate the brain in areas that are active during alert day hours, disorienting the body’s natural preparation for sleep. Furthermore, blue light suppresses melatonin production (the hormone that makes you sleepy) and elevates cortisol (the hormone associated with stress ). Mariana Figueiro, PhD., found that two hours of screen time before bed displayed a suppression in melatonin levels in the brain (Figeuiro et. al., 2011). In fact, even when our eyes are closed, we have photo-receptors all over our skin that absorb light just as our retinas in our eyes would. Thus, having screens on anywhere around our sleeping areas is problematic. Tips to manage blue light exposure: Setting a screen time curfew Wearing blue light protective glasses Turn on blue light blockers on devices, i.e. phones and computers (f.lux and Nightshift are recommended for iOS users and Twilight for android users) Instead of watching TV, movies, or YouTube before bed, listen to a podcast or audiobook with the screen off or on sleep mode. Ensure your room is completely pitch black at night, with no lights on, curtains closed, and any technology still on should be covered. For those of you who sleep with a light on, it’s recommended to buy a red light for your bedroom. Not only do these look cool but red light on the visible light spectrum has been shown to have little to no effect on both melatonin and cortisol levels. This is hypothesized to be due to the fact that humans have evolved sleeping by fire throughout human history (Stevenson, 2016). Caffeine Consumption Before getting into what you can do to manage your caffeine consumption, let’s take a simplistic look at what caffeine actually does to the brain that impacts our sleep. During normal functioning hours, the brain slowly accumulates a chemical called adenosine that binds to receptors to slow down brain activity and make you feel tired. The longer you are awake, the more tired you feel. Where caffeine comes into play is that it is shaped very similarly to adenosine and it binds to brain receptors. When these receptors are blocked by caffeine instead of adenosine, this tricks the brain into thinking it's not tired. Caffeine has a half-life of about 6-8 hours. A standard cup of coffee has roughly 150g of caffeine in it. What this means is that after about 6-8 hours there is still about 75g of caffeine in your system. Therefore, the timing of your caffeine consumption is just as important as the quantity. With this being said, the best strategy involves setting a caffeine curfew in order to reduce the amount of caffeine in your system by bedtime. It is recommended to cut out all sources of caffeine approximately 8 hours before bed. This includes coffee, caffeinated teas, espresso, or any other source of caffeine. Change Your Mindset in Regards to Sleep Although the other two points mentioned will probably apply to most readers, this one was the most influential point towards improving my sleep. I associated sleep with a negative outlook, specifically with loss of time. I knew through research and extensive thought that if I was going to improve my quality of sleep I was going to have to change my mindset. That isn’t the easiest task, especially when you spend years of your life thinking you dislike something. Some things that I did that helped me with this was reinforcing my why . The more I thought about why I was addressing my sleep, the easier it became to desire wanting sleep. Once I slowly worked towards this, I found that my anxiety associated with loss of time began to reduce and I was able to associate sleep with a positive mindset. Meditate Mindfulness is the act of becoming aware in the present moment, without judgement. The practice of mindfulness through mindful meditation can provide an opportunity to create mental space at bedtime and to help you feel more relaxed. Mindfulness can also help you to cope with negative thoughts surrounding sleep and to help you shift your focus to your body and to be present. This technique is easily accessible by downloading free apps or using beginner guided sleep meditation videos on YouTube. Other Minor Tips to Improve Your Sleep Journaling is an excellent release before bedtime, especially if you are an over thinker. Letting out the thoughts on paper and getting them out of your head will allow you to focus more on sleep and less on what’s on your mind. Invest in a good mattress. As mentioned earlier, we are going to spend about one third of our lives sleeping so why not ensure that we get the best sleep possible? If you are not in an ideal financial situation at the moment, perhaps investing in a proper mattress isn’t realistic. For you, I suggest buying a memory foam topper or just a mattress topper. This is an inexpensive way to improve sleep quality. Sleep and wake at consistent hours. Our super complex yet lazy brain loves to work off of routines so do your brain a favour and go to bed and wake up around the same time. This will make the process easier on yourself and will make you less likely to give up from frustrations of not being able to accomplish what you set out to. Do not, and I repeat do not, do any work or eating or anything in your bed besides sleep. The brain works off of associations so don’t confuse your brain into thinking your mattress is an office, movie theater, or a kitchen table. This is just the beginning when it comes to ways to improve your sleep, as solutions often depend on one’s specific sleep challenges. However, trying any of these tips can be beneficial as improving our sleep is crucial to improving our physical and psychological well-being. Best of luck on your sleep journey and sweet dreams. Written By: Erik Michalik, M. Psy Candidate, BASc, Edited/Reviewed by : Chantal Legere, M. Psy References Figueiro MG, Wood B, Plitnick B, Rea MS. (2011) The impact of light from computer monitors on melatonin levels in college students. Neuro Endocrinol Lett .; 32(2):158-63. PMID: 21552190. Stevenson, S. (2016). Sleep smarter: 21 essential strategies to sleep your way to a better body, better health, and bigger success . New York, NY: Rodale Books. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
