Several cities around the world are on lockdown, people are under quarantine, and retailers and schools are closing down. March break is right around the corner and many families are contemplating canceling their travel plans for a less anticipated staycation. The culprit responsible for this widespread panic? Coronavirus (COVID-19). The uncertainty of the virus and its ramifications is unsettling for most adults at the best of times. Can you imagine how scary this must be for children? How do you talk to your child about this? Here are some practical tips:
First, Process Your Own Anxiety
Educate yourself about the Coronavirus. People’s fears are often exacerbated by a lack of information or misinformation. Talk to your family doctor and avoid reading the results of Google searches. If you still feel anxious, talk to a psychologist or other mental health professional who can help you work through your anxiety. Why is it important for you to decrease your anxiety and be calm around your child(ren)? Because children look to their parents for cues on how to respond to novel situations. If you have a calm demeanor your child will model your calm behaviour.
Ask Your Child What They Know
It is likely your child has heard rumors at school and other misinformation about the virus. Your child may not have a clear and complete understanding about the virus and its effects. When this is the case, children will fill in the gaps with misinformation and anxiety-laden interpretations which they have heard from others or created from their own fears or confusion.
Listen and Validate
Listen to what your child has to say. Let your child express their feelings and validate their emotions and concerns without judging or criticizing them. You can say something like, “It sounds like you are very worried about this.” Let your child feel heard and understood.
Provide Facts, Not Excessive Reassurance
Explain to your child that this novel virus is much like the flu and that right now the risk of contracting the virus is low. Most people who get it will end up with flu-like symptoms and recover fully. Explain, in age-appropriate language, that doctors and scientists are working very diligently to develop a vaccine and to learn new ways about how to keep us safe. If your child asks a question you do not know the answer to, be honest; it’s okay to tell your child you don’t know. Try to avoid reassuring your child by saying things like, “Don’t worry, you will never get this virus” or “It’s not going to happen to you, you’ll be fine.” Reassurance serves to maintain and even increase anxiety. Instead of excessive reassurance, provide information, correct inaccuracies, and teach coping skills. One coping skill you can teach your child is to use logic when thinking about their risk. After providing your child with factual information, ask them, “What do you know now about the virus?” “What do you know about using good hygiene?” (see next tip), “Do you think what you were worried about has a good chance of happening?” These questions will help your child think more logically about their fears. Check in with your child periodically to see how they are feeling and remind them that they can talk to you at anytime.
Teach Good Hygiene
Teaching your child good hygiene will give them some control over the situation. Teach your child to wash their hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. Also, to cough or sneeze into the bend of their arm or to use a tissue, dispose of it properly, and then wash their hands. Also teach them to avoid touching their mouth, eyes, and nose and to wash hands before meals, after using the washroom, and after returning home from public places. Keep in mind, your child may occasionally forget to wash their hands or will wash improperly. This is not a reason to become overly concerned or anxious, especially not in front of your child. Taking immune boosting vitamins, like vitamin C, eating a healthy diet, and having a good sleep routine will help keep your child’s immune system strong and will help them feel more in control.
Keep Routines, Do Not Engage in Avoidance
Keep your child and family’s routine unless there are government advised changes, school closures, etc. Keeping routines consistent gives your child the message that things are “normal” or “okay” and this will help to curb anxiety. Avoidance will increase anxiety over time so it is best for you and your child not to avoid doing things you would normally do.
If your child had anxiety prior to the Coronavirus outbreak it is likely their anxiety will increase significantly. Look out for the following symptoms:
- Physical complaints such as headaches, stomach aches
- Increased irritability or changes in mood (sadness)
- Separation anxiety
- Sleep disturbances, including bed-wetting, insomnia, nightmares
- School refusal
- Withdrawal from friends and/or family
- Difficulty concentrating/focusing
If your child is exhibiting any of the above symptoms and they are interfering with school, sleep, socializing, and your child’s happiness you should seek professional help. Find a local psychologist who can help your child learn to cope with their anxiety.
Written by Dr. Stacy Lekkos, C. Psych.
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