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Promoting Resilience in Children
Mary Zamil • Aug 31, 2020

As we continue to experience the COVID-19 pandemic, an event that has universally and profoundly influenced our human activity, we have begun to recognize the many disruptions that have occurred in connection to our sense of psychological and physiological well-being. This new way of being has transpired into a life-changing experience that has prompted concerns around the topic of children and stress induction.


Learning to deal with stress is an integral part of healthy development. When faced with extreme worry or fear, our stress response system is activated. This prompts the body and brain to go on alert, triggering an adrenaline rush and an increased heart rate that intensifies the production of  stress hormones. However, when stress is relieved by support and care from the child's caregiver, this causes worries to lessen. Thus, allowing the body to return to a normal state of functioning.


Recent studies suggest that children are demonstrating a significant number of stress-related symptoms based on the expansive changes to their daily routine and structure. Currently, children are less physically active, experience irregular sleep patterns, have reduced contact with their peers, are deprived of several leisure activities, and are confined in their homes for most of the day. These changes have the ability to cause significant impacts on a child's overall well-being, which can go on to promote both emotional and behavioural dysregulation.

 

Promoting Wellness and Resilience


Adults and caregivers play a fundamental role in helping children reduce distress and develop resilience. Resilience can be defined as the capacity to recover from change or difficulty, or to bounce-back following an adverse experience. There are a variety of skills that parents can teach their children in order to encourage courage, self-regulation, and self-awareness, as well as resilience. One of the most effective ways of doing this is by incorporating the Seven C's of Building Resilience (Building Resilience in Children, 2015) into your child's daily life:


Competence

Competence can be defined as the ability to effectively handle a situation. Unfortunately, children can not develop competence without first developing skills that allow them to trust their own judgement and make responsible choices. Questions for parents to consider may include:

  • Am I helping my child to focus on their strengths?
  • Do I let my child make safe mistakes and give them the opportunity to correct themselves?


Confidence

Once children establish a level of competency, they can build confidence by validating personal achievements through genuine praise for their efforts and contributions. Parents should value their children’s accomplishments and guide them towards developing a sense of mastery. Additionally, this also involves not pushing a child to take on more than they can handle. Questions for parents to consider may include: 

  • Do I help my child to recognize what they have done well?
  • Do I push my child to take on more than they can handle?


Connection

 For children to establish a sense of connection, parents need to foster a sense of psychological safety and security. This creates an environment that is calming and stress-free, allowing space for the ability to communicate one's feelings. Every child needs a secure base to from which they can explore environments and build healthy relationships in order to move forward towards building resilience. Questions for parents to consider may include:

  • Do I allow my child to have and express all kinds of emotions?
  • How do we address conflict within our family?
  • Do I help my child to feel like they belong?


Character

To strengthen a child's character and develop resilience, it is important to develop a set of values and morals. This helps children to recognize how their behaviours can impact their friends and family, as well as others in the community. Questions for parents to consider may include:

  • Do I help my child to understand how their behaviour impacts others?
  • Do I allow my child to consider the different between right and wrong?
  • Do I model the importance of caring for others?


Contribution

Parents can embrace their children's character by generating opportunities for them to contribute to their community. This allows children to develop a sense of purpose and motivates them to take action towards improving the world around them. Questions for parents to consider may be:

  • Do I teach my child the value of serving others?
  • Do I model generosity in my own life?
  • Do I create opportunities for my child to make contributions?


Coping

Parents can help to impact a child's well-being by teaching them healthy coping strategies as a way to deal with difficulties, as children who learn to cope with stress are often better prepared to overcome challenges. It is extremely important for parents to model these coping strategies on a consistent basis in order to guide children regarding how to effectively deal with stress. Some methods can include deep breathing exercises, counting down, and re-directing children's attention using mindfulness. Questions for parents to consider may include:

  • Do I model healthy coping strategies for my child?
  • Do I create a family environment in which my child feels comfortable and safe to share their feelings?


Control

Lastly, helping your child to understand that events do not occur at random, but are a consequence of others' choices will help them to learn that they can control their own outcome. Promoting this internal sense of control also helps children to trust their ability to handle difficult situations. Questions for parents to consider may consist of:

  • Do I help my child understand the consequences of their choices?
  • Do I help my child to think about the future?
  • Do I allow my child to learn control by allowing them to make decisions for themselves?

 
There has never been a more important time to help our children learn how to effectively cope with stress. In the face of uncertainty and many changes, it is crucial to help our children feel safe, capable, and confident in their abilities. Consider asking yourself the questions posed above and implement these strategies, in order to both strengthen your relationship with your child and help them become more resilient during this difficult time.



Written By: Mary Zamil, RP (Qualifying), M.A., B.A. (Hons)

Edited/Reviewed by: Chantal Legere, M. Psy. Candidate, B.A. (Hons)



References


Building Resilience in Children. HealthyChildren.org. N.p.,5 Seven Cs BUILDING BLOCKS OF RESILIENCY. (2015). Retrieved from http://www.portlandpediatric.com/console//page-images/files/building-resilience/All Ages/Seven Cs.pdf


Jiao, W. Y., Wang, L. N., Liu, J., Fang, S. F., Jiao, F. Y., Pettoello-Mantovani, M., & Somekh, E. (2020). Behavioral and emotional disorders in children during the COVID-19 epidemic. The journal of Pediatrics, 221, 264.


Leung, C. C., Lam, T. H., & Cheng, K. K. (2020). Mass masking in the COVID-19 epidemic: people need guidance. Lancet, 395(10228), 94


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Let’s put something into perspective here: each day consists of 24 hours. Of those, it is recommended that each person sleep approximately eight hours per night. According to these numbers, we spend one third of our entire lives asleep, yet for some reason the majority of us are choosing to ignore the importance of this inevitability. Sleep alone can improve our stress , memory functioning, alertness, mood, immune system, hormone functioning, and weight, to name a few. There are no quick fixes or super pills anyone can take for instant success but sleep is truly one of the closest natural aspects we can improve on in order to benefit almost EVERY aspect of our lives. So what can we do to improve our sleep? Define Your Why A recurring theme when deciding to make changes in our lives is defining our ‘why’. Any meaningful action requires meaning or purpose for it to be achieved. No matter how complex or simple it is, when you have a reason to do something, you are more likely to actually follow through with it. Remember to remind yourself why you want to focus on this area of your life. This will be particularly important when the going gets tough or if you fall victim of your previous routine way of functioning. Remember, meaningful change (in this case, sleep) does not happen overnight. Limit Blue Light Exposure Cutting out screen time before bed is one of the most effective ways to improve sleep quality. However, I’m fairly confident that most of you reading this will end the last moments of your night on a screen, whether it's a phone, computer, iPad, or the television. Throughout human evolution, humans evolved to be awake when the sun was up and to fall asleep when the sun went down. The problem with blue light specifically is that it has shown to stimulate the brain in areas that are active during alert day hours, disorienting the body’s natural preparation for sleep. Furthermore, blue light suppresses melatonin production (the hormone that makes you sleepy) and elevates cortisol (the hormone associated with stress ). Mariana Figueiro, PhD., found that two hours of screen time before bed displayed a suppression in melatonin levels in the brain (Figeuiro et. al., 2011). In fact, even when our eyes are closed, we have photo-receptors all over our skin that absorb light just as our retinas in our eyes would. Thus, having screens on anywhere around our sleeping areas is problematic. Tips to manage blue light exposure: Setting a screen time curfew Wearing blue light protective glasses Turn on blue light blockers on devices, i.e. phones and computers (f.lux and Nightshift are recommended for iOS users and Twilight for android users) Instead of watching TV, movies, or YouTube before bed, listen to a podcast or audiobook with the screen off or on sleep mode. Ensure your room is completely pitch black at night, with no lights on, curtains closed, and any technology still on should be covered. For those of you who sleep with a light on, it’s recommended to buy a red light for your bedroom. Not only do these look cool but red light on the visible light spectrum has been shown to have little to no effect on both melatonin and cortisol levels. This is hypothesized to be due to the fact that humans have evolved sleeping by fire throughout human history (Stevenson, 2016). Caffeine Consumption Before getting into what you can do to manage your caffeine consumption, let’s take a simplistic look at what caffeine actually does to the brain that impacts our sleep. During normal functioning hours, the brain slowly accumulates a chemical called adenosine that binds to receptors to slow down brain activity and make you feel tired. The longer you are awake, the more tired you feel. Where caffeine comes into play is that it is shaped very similarly to adenosine and it binds to brain receptors. When these receptors are blocked by caffeine instead of adenosine, this tricks the brain into thinking it's not tired. Caffeine has a half-life of about 6-8 hours. A standard cup of coffee has roughly 150g of caffeine in it. What this means is that after about 6-8 hours there is still about 75g of caffeine in your system. Therefore, the timing of your caffeine consumption is just as important as the quantity. With this being said, the best strategy involves setting a caffeine curfew in order to reduce the amount of caffeine in your system by bedtime. It is recommended to cut out all sources of caffeine approximately 8 hours before bed. This includes coffee, caffeinated teas, espresso, or any other source of caffeine. Change Your Mindset in Regards to Sleep Although the other two points mentioned will probably apply to most readers, this one was the most influential point towards improving my sleep. I associated sleep with a negative outlook, specifically with loss of time. I knew through research and extensive thought that if I was going to improve my quality of sleep I was going to have to change my mindset. That isn’t the easiest task, especially when you spend years of your life thinking you dislike something. Some things that I did that helped me with this was reinforcing my why . The more I thought about why I was addressing my sleep, the easier it became to desire wanting sleep. Once I slowly worked towards this, I found that my anxiety associated with loss of time began to reduce and I was able to associate sleep with a positive mindset. Meditate Mindfulness is the act of becoming aware in the present moment, without judgement. The practice of mindfulness through mindful meditation can provide an opportunity to create mental space at bedtime and to help you feel more relaxed. Mindfulness can also help you to cope with negative thoughts surrounding sleep and to help you shift your focus to your body and to be present. This technique is easily accessible by downloading free apps or using beginner guided sleep meditation videos on YouTube. Other Minor Tips to Improve Your Sleep Journaling is an excellent release before bedtime, especially if you are an over thinker. Letting out the thoughts on paper and getting them out of your head will allow you to focus more on sleep and less on what’s on your mind. Invest in a good mattress. As mentioned earlier, we are going to spend about one third of our lives sleeping so why not ensure that we get the best sleep possible? If you are not in an ideal financial situation at the moment, perhaps investing in a proper mattress isn’t realistic. For you, I suggest buying a memory foam topper or just a mattress topper. This is an inexpensive way to improve sleep quality. Sleep and wake at consistent hours. Our super complex yet lazy brain loves to work off of routines so do your brain a favour and go to bed and wake up around the same time. This will make the process easier on yourself and will make you less likely to give up from frustrations of not being able to accomplish what you set out to. Do not, and I repeat do not, do any work or eating or anything in your bed besides sleep. The brain works off of associations so don’t confuse your brain into thinking your mattress is an office, movie theater, or a kitchen table. This is just the beginning when it comes to ways to improve your sleep, as solutions often depend on one’s specific sleep challenges. However, trying any of these tips can be beneficial as improving our sleep is crucial to improving our physical and psychological well-being. Best of luck on your sleep journey and sweet dreams. Written By: Erik Michalik, M. Psy Candidate, BASc, Edited/Reviewed by : Chantal Legere, M. Psy References Figueiro MG, Wood B, Plitnick B, Rea MS. (2011) The impact of light from computer monitors on melatonin levels in college students. Neuro Endocrinol Lett .; 32(2):158-63. PMID: 21552190. Stevenson, S. (2016). Sleep smarter: 21 essential strategies to sleep your way to a better body, better health, and bigger success . New York, NY: Rodale Books. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
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