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11 Ways to Increase Your Self-Confidence
Sumbel Malik and Chantal Legere • Oct 08, 2020

The capacity to stand solid is a useful resource when confronting life’s troubles but creating that quality does not come naturally to everyone. Confident people have a positive perception of themselves and carry themselves in a way which reflects that.


If your level of self-confidence isn't where you'd like it to be, here are eleven things you can do to increase your self-confidence:


Smile

Smiling can make you more approachable and can also make any situation feel more relaxed and comfortable. Smiling will make those around you also feel more comfortable. 


Improve Your Posture

The posture that we adopt can easily affect how we feel about ourselves. When we are slouching or looking down, we are often not communicating confidence. Although it might feel silly, trying out powerful stances can help to adjust your frame of mind. Even sitting up straighter can help us to feel more confident. 


Identify Your Strengths

Spend some time reflecting on the things you are good at. Consider positive things others have said about you. Focus on these things and strive to integrate these activities into your daily life. 


Identify and Improve Your Weaknesses

It’s also important to spend time reflecting on the things we are not good at. Consider ways in which you could improve in both work and personal life and set goals to improve these attributes. 


Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Whether it's comparing pictures of ourselves to others on Instagram or comparing your salary, comparisons are not healthy. In fact Morin (2019) noted that individuals who compare themselves to others often experience envy, and this envy can lead us to feel bad about ourselves. Try to pay attention to when you compare your skills, achievements, and personal appearance to others. When you notice that you are doing this, try to remind yourself that life is not a competition and that these comparisons are not helpful. 


Improve Your Communication Skills

Effective communication skills help us to excel in work and social interactions by increasing our ability to understand others and feel understood. One of the best ways to improve communication skills is to relax and be yourself. Don’t try to speak or be like someone you’re not. Maintaining good eye contact, asking open-ended questions, being clear, being mindful of your body language, and giving the other person your undivided attention are also helpful ways to improve communication skills. 

Know Your Self-Worth

Don't undervalue yourself. Permitting others to control your feelings or to take advantage of you compromises your self-esteem. Keep in mind that the feeling of value comes from within, and you're the only one who can decide how you are feeling around yourself. Being flawed does not make you unworthy of being cherished, it makes you human. 


Know that Failure Leads to Success

Knowing when to step back and reevaluate may be an important aptitude. Learn from your mistakes and utilize that information toward future success. Beating yourself up over past mistakes decreases the vitality you wish to form as a more positive future. Success requires tolerance, conscientiousness, and a sound viewpoint on making mistakes. There’s no better certainty than overcoming an obstacle and meeting an individual challenge or goal.


Trust Your Gut Feeling

When confronted with a troublesome decision, trust your gut. Recognize that when something does not feel right, it likely is not. When it’s not an urgent circumstance, take the time to weigh the pros and cons and then act appropriately. Do what you really think and feel is right.


Know When to Lead and When to Follow

Give up the need to continuously be in charge and understand it is okay to be in a supporting role. Sometimes another person’s needs ought to come first; other times, it is imperative to be more assertive. Be keen on sharing your thoughts and conclusions, you may really gain respect and create the kind of well-balanced connections you're looking for, which can increase your self-confidence.


Express Your Values

Clearly express your values to those around you. The capacity to do this requires some contemplation into what you accept around yourself. How you prioritize your life shows others who you are and what is vital to you; living in alignment with your values permits a sense of self-confidence to shine through. 


If you need help on increasing your self-confidence, reach out to us and we can help!



Written By: Sumbel Malik, M. Psy. Candidate, B. A. (Hons) and Chantal Legere, M. Psy.

Edited/Reviewed byDr. Stacy Lekkos, C. Psych


References


Morin, A. (2019). 5 Ways to Start Boosting Your Self-Confidence Today. Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-boost-your-self-confidence-4163098

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By Erik Michalik 19 Jan, 2021
When an individual expects something to happen, many processes go on in our brains and bodies to meet these expectations.
man-sleeping
By Erik Michalik 20 Nov, 2020
Let’s put something into perspective here: each day consists of 24 hours. Of those, it is recommended that each person sleep approximately eight hours per night. According to these numbers, we spend one third of our entire lives asleep, yet for some reason the majority of us are choosing to ignore the importance of this inevitability. Sleep alone can improve our stress , memory functioning, alertness, mood, immune system, hormone functioning, and weight, to name a few. There are no quick fixes or super pills anyone can take for instant success but sleep is truly one of the closest natural aspects we can improve on in order to benefit almost EVERY aspect of our lives. So what can we do to improve our sleep? Define Your Why A recurring theme when deciding to make changes in our lives is defining our ‘why’. Any meaningful action requires meaning or purpose for it to be achieved. No matter how complex or simple it is, when you have a reason to do something, you are more likely to actually follow through with it. Remember to remind yourself why you want to focus on this area of your life. This will be particularly important when the going gets tough or if you fall victim of your previous routine way of functioning. Remember, meaningful change (in this case, sleep) does not happen overnight. Limit Blue Light Exposure Cutting out screen time before bed is one of the most effective ways to improve sleep quality. However, I’m fairly confident that most of you reading this will end the last moments of your night on a screen, whether it's a phone, computer, iPad, or the television. Throughout human evolution, humans evolved to be awake when the sun was up and to fall asleep when the sun went down. The problem with blue light specifically is that it has shown to stimulate the brain in areas that are active during alert day hours, disorienting the body’s natural preparation for sleep. Furthermore, blue light suppresses melatonin production (the hormone that makes you sleepy) and elevates cortisol (the hormone associated with stress ). Mariana Figueiro, PhD., found that two hours of screen time before bed displayed a suppression in melatonin levels in the brain (Figeuiro et. al., 2011). In fact, even when our eyes are closed, we have photo-receptors all over our skin that absorb light just as our retinas in our eyes would. Thus, having screens on anywhere around our sleeping areas is problematic. Tips to manage blue light exposure: Setting a screen time curfew Wearing blue light protective glasses Turn on blue light blockers on devices, i.e. phones and computers (f.lux and Nightshift are recommended for iOS users and Twilight for android users) Instead of watching TV, movies, or YouTube before bed, listen to a podcast or audiobook with the screen off or on sleep mode. Ensure your room is completely pitch black at night, with no lights on, curtains closed, and any technology still on should be covered. For those of you who sleep with a light on, it’s recommended to buy a red light for your bedroom. Not only do these look cool but red light on the visible light spectrum has been shown to have little to no effect on both melatonin and cortisol levels. This is hypothesized to be due to the fact that humans have evolved sleeping by fire throughout human history (Stevenson, 2016). Caffeine Consumption Before getting into what you can do to manage your caffeine consumption, let’s take a simplistic look at what caffeine actually does to the brain that impacts our sleep. During normal functioning hours, the brain slowly accumulates a chemical called adenosine that binds to receptors to slow down brain activity and make you feel tired. The longer you are awake, the more tired you feel. Where caffeine comes into play is that it is shaped very similarly to adenosine and it binds to brain receptors. When these receptors are blocked by caffeine instead of adenosine, this tricks the brain into thinking it's not tired. Caffeine has a half-life of about 6-8 hours. A standard cup of coffee has roughly 150g of caffeine in it. What this means is that after about 6-8 hours there is still about 75g of caffeine in your system. Therefore, the timing of your caffeine consumption is just as important as the quantity. With this being said, the best strategy involves setting a caffeine curfew in order to reduce the amount of caffeine in your system by bedtime. It is recommended to cut out all sources of caffeine approximately 8 hours before bed. This includes coffee, caffeinated teas, espresso, or any other source of caffeine. Change Your Mindset in Regards to Sleep Although the other two points mentioned will probably apply to most readers, this one was the most influential point towards improving my sleep. I associated sleep with a negative outlook, specifically with loss of time. I knew through research and extensive thought that if I was going to improve my quality of sleep I was going to have to change my mindset. That isn’t the easiest task, especially when you spend years of your life thinking you dislike something. Some things that I did that helped me with this was reinforcing my why . The more I thought about why I was addressing my sleep, the easier it became to desire wanting sleep. Once I slowly worked towards this, I found that my anxiety associated with loss of time began to reduce and I was able to associate sleep with a positive mindset. Meditate Mindfulness is the act of becoming aware in the present moment, without judgement. The practice of mindfulness through mindful meditation can provide an opportunity to create mental space at bedtime and to help you feel more relaxed. Mindfulness can also help you to cope with negative thoughts surrounding sleep and to help you shift your focus to your body and to be present. This technique is easily accessible by downloading free apps or using beginner guided sleep meditation videos on YouTube. Other Minor Tips to Improve Your Sleep Journaling is an excellent release before bedtime, especially if you are an over thinker. Letting out the thoughts on paper and getting them out of your head will allow you to focus more on sleep and less on what’s on your mind. Invest in a good mattress. As mentioned earlier, we are going to spend about one third of our lives sleeping so why not ensure that we get the best sleep possible? If you are not in an ideal financial situation at the moment, perhaps investing in a proper mattress isn’t realistic. For you, I suggest buying a memory foam topper or just a mattress topper. This is an inexpensive way to improve sleep quality. Sleep and wake at consistent hours. Our super complex yet lazy brain loves to work off of routines so do your brain a favour and go to bed and wake up around the same time. This will make the process easier on yourself and will make you less likely to give up from frustrations of not being able to accomplish what you set out to. Do not, and I repeat do not, do any work or eating or anything in your bed besides sleep. The brain works off of associations so don’t confuse your brain into thinking your mattress is an office, movie theater, or a kitchen table. This is just the beginning when it comes to ways to improve your sleep, as solutions often depend on one’s specific sleep challenges. However, trying any of these tips can be beneficial as improving our sleep is crucial to improving our physical and psychological well-being. Best of luck on your sleep journey and sweet dreams. Written By: Erik Michalik, M. Psy Candidate, BASc, Edited/Reviewed by : Chantal Legere, M. Psy References Figueiro MG, Wood B, Plitnick B, Rea MS. (2011) The impact of light from computer monitors on melatonin levels in college students. Neuro Endocrinol Lett .; 32(2):158-63. PMID: 21552190. Stevenson, S. (2016). Sleep smarter: 21 essential strategies to sleep your way to a better body, better health, and bigger success . New York, NY: Rodale Books. Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels
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